Is Your Past Still Haunting You?

Here's how to tell if childhood trauma is affecting your adult life.If you feel like your past is still affecting you, it might be due to unresolved childhood trauma.

Here’s how to spot if it’s still impacting your adult life.The past has a sneaky way of sticking around longer than we'd like. If you experienced trauma as a child, it might be surprising to realize that those old wounds are still affecting you as an adult.

Childhood is supposed to be a time of growth, exploration, and learning, surrounded by love and protection. But for many, it can also be a period of trauma and pain. Unresolved childhood trauma tends to linger and can resurface, sometimes subtly and other times quite intensely, impacting various aspects of adult life, including relationships and careers.

That's why it's crucial to recognize the signs and address them. Trauma from childhood can resurface in adulthood, influencing relationships and mental health.(Unsplash)Arouba Kabir, mental health counsellor, wellness coach and founder, Enso Wellness, some signs that will help you understand if you have unresolved childhood trauma.

1.⁠ ⁠Trust issues. Emotional neglect or any kind of betrayal can make it hard for a person to trust themselves and the people around them. It might make them sceptical of other people's intentions, which can lead to anxiety and fear of vulnerability in other relationships.

⁠2. Fear of abandonment. 9 out of my 10 clients have shown this. Call the kind of comfort and soothing. A child should have gotten in their childhood was unfortunately absent in most children, which causes deep-rooted fear of being left behind and rejected. In your adult relationships, you might show avoidant or anxious attachment styles, which either make you distant or a clingy person in a relationship.

3. Struggles with boundaries.  It just gets hard to identify where do I stop, and you begin. when a child's No is not respected and they have been told No even when they shouldn't have, it affects their ability to set or respect boundaries as an adult. People pleasing behaviours or too much of stonewalling can happen.

⁠4. Emotional numbness or detachment, Shutdown as a coping mechanism is also very common, as we see in clients. If you often feel numb, detached, or unable to express your emotions fully, it may be a lingering effect of past trauma (PTSD). This can make it challenging to form deep, meaningful connections with others in the present. Substance abuse, violence and hypersexuality can be some signs as well.

5.⁠ ⁠Low self-esteem and self-worth. Any kind of trauma and abuse impacts our own self-image and silent shame, and guilt are downloaded as a child, especially if they have gone through emotional, physical, and sexual abuse as a child. The constant feeling of fear of failure, self-criticism or unworthiness could be the outcome.

6.⁠ ⁠Persistent anxiety or depression, Constant anxiety, depression, or feelings of hopelessness in adulthood may be linked to childhood trauma.

7.⁠ ⁠Overreaction to stressful situations. If small conflicts or stressors trigger intense emotional reactions, this could indicate unresolved trauma because you are always in hyper-vigilant mode. Identifying these signs can be the first step toward healing, allowing you to confront the suppressed trauma and reclaim Your emotional well-being.8. Difficulty in Relationships. If you find it challenging to maintain healthy and stable relationships, this can be a direct consequence of unresolved childhood trauma. Patterns of conflict, avoidance, or seeking out unhealthy dynamics can stem from early experiences where attachment was inconsistent or traumatic. It can lead to a cycle of attracting the same types of relationships that mirror past pain rather than growth.

9. People-Pleasing. Many adults who experienced childhood trauma develop a habit of accommodating others' needs over their own. This tendency to please others can stem from a deep-rooted fear of rejection or abandonment, leading to an inability to advocate for oneself. You might find yourself constantly saying "yes" to keep the peace, even at the expense of your own well-being.

10. Intense Guilt or Shame. Lingering feelings of guilt or shame can crop up when you attempt to pursue your own happiness or goals. If you often feel undeserving of good things in your life, this can be linked to messages you received in childhood about your worth. This self-sabotaging cycle can prevent you from embracing opportunities and living to your fullest potential.

11. Avoidance of Memories or Situations. You may find yourself avoiding places, people, or conversations that remind you of past trauma. This avoidance can manifest as an irrational fear or discomfort, leading to a restricted life where you miss out on experiences that could promote growth and healing.

12. Somatic Symptoms. Unresolved trauma can also manifest physically. You might experience chronic pain, fatigue, or other physical ailments that have no clear medical explanation. The body often holds onto trauma, causing lingering stress that can affect your overall health, leading to a cycle of discomfort and emotional distress.

Recognizing these signs is a crucial step toward healing. If any of these resonate with you, it may be beneficial to seek the support of a mental health professional. Engaging in therapy can provide a safe space to process your experiences, develop coping strategies, and learn to trust and embrace emotions again. Remember, you deserve to heal and find peace, creating a future unburdened by the shadows of your past. Healing is a journey, and taking that first step is a powerful act of self-love and courage.